Thursday, June 4, 2009

2009 06 04. Thursday.

2009 06 04. Thursday.

I think another one of the reasons I'm so fascinated by all this spiritual stuff and inner work is that (I've been told) I'm a Five on the Enneagram chart. The Enneagram is a personality profile system popular among the New Age and Personal Growth crowd. Google it for more details. One aspect of the Five (which is definitely true for me) is that they're passionate about getting knowledge and understanding how things work on a deep level. From a young age I've been very interested in science (in college I majored in physics) cause I want to know how things work. After college it become increasingly clear to me that the most fundamental thing I could study was the person who was interested in science; my own mind and consciousness. It all starts from there, doesn't it? So at 28 (1991) I began my deep involvement in various meditation practices.

When I met Amma in 2002 (in addition to falling in love with Her) I got the feeling that Amma has fully realized the depths of consciousness and can help accelerate my path to learn more about my deepest true nature. It seems the deep feeling of love and faith in Amma can somehow deepen and accelerate the inner learning process. And I'm not happy unless I feel I'm exploring the deepest mysteries. Buddhism had great meditation practices and great meditation teachers, but it didn't really touch my heart. In hindsight I can see this clearly. Tibetan Buddhism has some nice devotional and heart energy, but for some reason I never felt a strong connection to any of the Tibetan lamas I met. Amma opened my heart to the devotional side of inner work and that seems to add a lot of juice and passion for the work. It seems that inner work for me goes fastest when my head and heart are fully engaged. Amma provides both in great balance. And She gives me hugs and chocolate. Sometimes dark chocolate! Can't beat that.

Unlike the last time I was here, it seems my body has adjusted nicely to the long time between lunch and dinner. I now cram in some extra food during lunch. That, along with the 4pm chai, seems to tide me over til dinner. Maybe its just my imagination, but the food seems to be even better now than last time. I've been really enjoying all the meals and they have special treats like uttapam, idlis, etc more often than before. We're getting spoiled! They seem to be using slightly milder spices than before. Not so hot now.

Looks like I've found a good solution to the mosquitoes at the men's bhajans. I got some long sleeved shirts for my arms and onto my extra white cap I sewed a cloth drape to cover my ears and the back of my neck. Looks like those hats they wear when traveling through the desert. Then all I have to do is put some of the citronella balm onto my hands and feet and viola! Mosquito problem solved! I can definitely enjoy the bhajans better now. And with the long sleeves and hat drape I don't have to use so much of the citronella which runs about 70 rupees ($1.70) per bottle. You can tell I'm always thinking about ways to save money. I gotta stretch my money carefully so I can stay here a while. The long sleeves and the hat drape are kind of warm, but not too bad. I get used to it and when I get into the spirit of the bhajans I forget about the warmth.

During the bhajans the older Indian man sitting on my left was constantly swiping and swatting at mosquitoes. They seem to be especially attracted to him. Poor guy was really getting pestered!

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